Post 287081 by Autumn deleted for the following reason: Hey there, if you are suicidal, please reach out for live help to 800-273-TALK (8255) or one of the links on the ThereIsHelp Mefi wiki page. You can also call the national domestic violence hotline, it sounds like they may have better resources for you 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). -- LobsterMitten