Best practice listening skills to help abused friend (female on male) - spousalabuse domesticabuse

Post 306705 by Thella deleted for the following reason: Hey, sorry, but the combo of rather specific details about third parties, plus advice by proxy for second-hand related circumstances all make this not really great for Ask Metafilter. Perhaps a gift membership for your friend might be a way to cut through some of that. -- taz